I Lost Myself on a Cool Damp Night









Sometimes I feel like my life is nothing more than a vague imitation of a badly written postmodern novel. Disjointed. Fragmented. Unfinished. I am floating around in a sea of grey, waiting for the epilogue that never comes. Some cliched indie film about a young ingenue suffering through an existential crisis. The not-so-enigmatic anti-heroine. A supporting character in her own narrative. A tragic victim of my neurosis. A thinly veiled portrayal of my poorly disguised desperation for a happy ending that is as tangible as a wisp of smoke.

Long hours spent on the dance floor tying to re-live my misspent youth. Is this what passes for music nowadays? Or is my repulsion just an indication that I have become jaded? These people are like the undead, wafting past one another, looking but not really seeing, speaking but not really listening, silently judging as they repeat their carefully constructed swaying ad nauseum. I have the gnawing suspicion that I should feel excited to be here but I am incapable of summoning the appropriate level of joie de vivre. I surrender and let the chaotic amalgam encircle me. I close my eyes and let the vibrations carry me.

The morning after the night before. Smudged mascara and the stench of stale cigarette smoke linger on my hair and under my fingernails. Re-watching old reruns of That 70's Show and pretending I don't exist. The canned laughter is my own. Stolen embraces in deserted stairwells. Juvenile wishes made under touching tree branches. I am anxious that all I will leave behind when I'm gone is the vague scent of Very Cherry lip balm and regret.

Love & light,
M xx

39 comments:

  1. Beautiful photos! ♥
    http://jeannays.blogspot.fi/

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  2. Nice blog dear!!
    Do you want to follow eachother? I am waiting for you darling!!
    Have a nice day!

    Federica
    smartchicidetreadbooksandfly.blogspot.it

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  3. Love your blog. I'm still obsessed with Archie comics! I have been since I was 6 years old.
    Follow me and I'll follow you. <3
    xx
    http://www.lipglossandlattes.com

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  4. The glasses with the perles! OMG i need these! xxx

    http://www.fashionnarcissism.com/

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  5. well-written dear. i love how you write those lines, they are touching :)

    http://jakdwiekroplewody.blogspot.com/

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  6. beautiful post. and hey! That's 70's Show is one of my fave TV series. ♥
    Thanks for visiting my blog. following you on GFC and bloglovin. ♥ Waiting for you to follow back

    http://silentbustle.blogspot.com

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  7. Very nice glasses! (:

    Maybe follow each other on bloglovin and/or gfc?
    Let me know if you want and I follow you back :D
    http://muffliato9.blogspot.com/

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  8. Just lovely! =)

    www.goodbadandfab.com
    personal style and fashion musings of a LA fashion lawyer living life in the fab lane!

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  9. Thanks so much for your lovely comment. ;)

    I love these pictures, they are a great
    inspiration. The one with the sunglasses
    is my favourite. :)

    I'm following your amazing blog now, too. :)

    dearmisscoco.blogspot.de

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  10. you're a great writer :)

    xx fameliquorlove.blogspot.com

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  11. Hello, great selection of photos - I love the glasses! Thanks for your comment on my post about Birchboxes. Hope you liked it.
    I’m now following you so hope you'll follow back, if you're not already :)

    sarahamyruth.blogspot.com/

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  12. Love all the pics and everything that they remind me of....

    Would you like to follow each other? Let me know... <3
    Neha
    http://letstalkabouteverything1.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm in love with those sunglasses! I want them all haha
    Hugs & Kisses,
    Olivia

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  14. interested in following each other via GFC and Facebook??
    http://fashionwithfitness.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you for your sweet comment, your blog is lovely! Even your header photo is so cute :) I'm following you back and look forward to reading future updates!
    Scarlett @ velvetmint xx

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  16. great pictures! I love them very much. ;)
    would you like to follow each other? let me know! ;)

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  17. Bonitas imágenes!!
    Saludos
    http://judithbysucre.blogspot.com.es

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  18. I feel like I could have written this myself! You have a wonderful way with words!

    Thanks for the follow, followed you back on bloglovin, gfc and google plus =)

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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  19. I can totally relate to what you write...that is the coolest way to store sunglasses too.

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  20. Love those inspiring photos!

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  21. ARCHIE!!!!! ARCHIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

    hehe xoxo

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  22. thx following you now by gfc and bloglovin.
    http://tifi11@blogspot.com

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  23. I don't usually stumble through "daily life" blogs, but omg, Marilyn is one of my most favorite role model ever! the ocean looks beautiful
    "Make Peace Not War" on http://reinhardtkenneth.blogspot.com

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  24. Hello darlin!
    Thank you for your comment but I can't find you in my GFC list can you check please again so then I can follow you back? :)
    Xxx

    Carolina

    www.the-world-c.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Followed back <3 100!
      Keep in touch!

      Delete
  25. Great collection of sunglasses


    http://theshortiesfashion.blogspot.co.uk/

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  26. great pics ! :D
    would you like to follow each other? let me know on my blog ! ;)
    http://fashionablewhite.blogspot.com

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  27. Followed back my dear! xoxo ;*
    www.ourloveourpassion.blogspot.com

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  28. Nice blog you have...wanna follow each other?
    please follow with GFC, just leave me a comment and I'll follow u back!
    http://namelessfashionblog.blogspot.it/
    http://www.facebook.com/NamelessFashionBlog

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  29. amazing pics! I follow you now xjes
    www.supongoestilo.blogspot.nl

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  30. Amazing post!!!great pics!
    Really nice blog!!!!do u want to Follow each other!?
    CHIC STREET CHOC
    FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK

    ReplyDelete
  31. love how the snapshots of sunny Archie comics and embellished sunglasses on the hanger both contrast and capture the fragmentation you describe in your post! and...maybe merely watching reruns and laughing without really meaning it is okay sometimes too. :)
    ♥ vivian | seattleite fashionista

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  32. You're such a good writer dear. And this blog looks really successful! Congratulations. :)
    Do you want us to follow each other? Let me know!

    xx, Mela
    www.wearismela.com

    P.S. You might want to join this giveaway by OASAP.com: http://www.wearismela.com/2013/05/oasapcom-x-wearismelacom-giveaway.html

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  33. Wow!! What a beautiful blog. I like very much your articles, your photos and your style, I have followed you via gfc, bloglovin, facebook and google+ . I have also a blog http://ouicestelsa.blogspot.com/ and I hope we can follow each other~~

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  34. I really love the sunglasses on the hanger...great idea!
    ~Jessica
    Jeans and a Teacup

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  35. Hey girl I nominated you for the liebster award go see.
    http://tifi11@blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete